Sketching

In the Spring, I was praying one day with Emily, and God gave me this picture analogy of something He was trying to show me. This had happened before, and it was a way that God had been able to show me more of Himself. He used it to give me the ability to understand a lot of concepts in my walk with Him. I told Emily that I wanted to begin sketching these images that God gave me so that I could remember truths about Him. Well... I think that was in like... February.

Well, it's now the end of June, and, after a time of journaling and trying to describe yet another image, God called me to actually begin the sketchbook that I had said I would do. So I started sketching!

I will save you from the pain of actually looking at my sketches (I am not an artist by any stretch of the imagination). But God already showed me that I'm so impatient. I was drawing some leaves on these trees, and I wanted to draw about 30 leaves on each tree. Just three trees, four sketches. By the end of the first tree, I was done. I was tired of drawing these leaves. But I endured, talking to God as I was doing it. I laughed about how impatient I am to draw these leaves and how patient He was as He carefully, perfectly, and creatively drew out a sketchbook of me that I mess up each and every day. Yet I don't screw up any of His plan with these sketches.

So I sketch. :)

Random Things from the Past Day

So yesterday I started reading this book called Freedom from Fear: Overcoming Worry & Anxiety by Neil Anderson and Rich Miller. It was recommended to me back in September when I was consumed by my anxiety over choosing what to do post-graduation, and I'm finally getting to read it. I'm only 1/3 of the way through, but, so far, it has been difficult to read. Mostly because my anxiety has been something that has been very paralyzing since I was very young, and it hit its peak this past Fall. Thankful that this book is revealing to me, however, that I'm not alone in my feelings of anxiety, and it is filled with truth from God's Word and wisdom from these authors. Thankful I'm reading it!

Another random thing. I've been trying to read a book every week this summer (almost successfully... just a few days behind but hoping to catch up!). So far I've read:
The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn
Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman
The Autobiography of Hudson Taylor
The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
Sold by Patricia McCormick

I think that's it so far. I never thought I'd say this, but next up is... The Hunger Games series. I always said I would never read those. Now I am. Not sure why, but my mom decided to get them for me today. So I will read them before I leave I guess! Also, I'm open to more recommendations. :)

Lastly, I'm in Seattle right now. Today's weather: sprinkling in the morning, pouring down rain and freezing in the afternoon, sunny and beautiful in the evening! What is going on?!?!

Up, Down, All Around

So this has been quite a traveling weekend, and it will continue to be a traveling journey for another two weeks.

About a month ago, the Missions Board at my home church asked me to speak to the HCC congregation, and, specifically, they wanted me to speak on Fathers Day (hoping my dad would come out). Well, Andrea and I drove up to Humboldt on Friday and stayed with my dad through Monday morning. I had a couple of support appointments (both incredibly encouraging because the people I met with are some of my favorite people to see when I go home), and I spoke at all three services at church (I think I could preach the sermon by now haha). It was one of the most encouraging weekends I've had up there in a really long time. In addition, my dad came to church with me on Sunday, and he loved the sermon and felt very comfortable there. (I got him The Reason for God by Tim Keller for Fathers Day, and he is enjoying it already--and is wrestling with a lot of issues he has!) One of the best parts of the time there, though, was getting to spend time with my dad. We went hiking, we had ice cream, we went grocery shopping, and we did what we love to do--sit in the kitchen early in the morning drinking tea and talking about life and hard things in life. I loved my weekend.

It wasn't over after Humboldt though. On Monday morning, we drove down to Roseville so I could go to Lizz's bridal shower! It was so much fun! I hadn't seen her in about 11 months, and it was so great to see her and to hear about wedding planning, etc. She is going to be a beautiful bride and an even more beautiful wife. I also got to spend time with one of my soon-to-be teammates, Annemarie! She's so fun--I'm really excited to get to know her better this upcoming year!

And after the shower, we drove back to Berkeley. Whew. I came back feeling exhausted--didn't want to do anything last night. Today I have a couple of things planned (one support appointment and doing some admin stuff at my church), but it's mostly going to be a relaxing day of being refreshed by the Lord and spending some sweet time with Him. Looking forward to it. :)

And tomorrow... flying to Seattle for the week, driving to Chico for a wedding, and driving to LA to visit friends in Santa Monica. Exhausted already. But the Lord will sustain me as I get to celebrate with so many people and say some goodbyes! God is good. :)

Where Do You Want to Take Me?

I want to wake up each day and ask God, "Where do you want to take me today? What do you want to show me? What do you want to teach me?" I want to feel excited each morning I wake up because this is a new day that the Lord has created, and it's a day that He has given purpose to. He wants to take me on a journey today, and He wants to tell me a bit more about Himself and then a bit more about myself. Sometimes we're journeying through the fields, and I'm running through on a beautiful day. Sometimes we're journeying up a mountain, and my legs are burning and it's hard to press on. Oftentimes, however, I have felt like we're walking in circles, going nowhere. Maybe that's because I'm not really following Him--just a routine that I'm used to.

I imagine this course that I'm walking through with God, and pretty often I think that I know the course well enough to be able to navigate on my own. Little do I know that the course is not consistent all the way through. Sometimes there are unexpected bumps and curves that I hadn't anticipated. Sometimes there are fun loops that I can go through. But I need to be aware and alert, following my Shepherd. Follow the leader does not work when a sheep decides she wants to be the Shepherd.

So God, what do you have for me today? What joyous adventure do you have planned?

Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

I started reading this blog that was recommended to me by my friend, Steph. It's "Jamie the Very Worst Missionary." Love, specifically, this post about loving people as people, not as projects, and the importance of friendship. Hope this is encouraging to you too!
http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/2012/05/love-people-not-projects.html

Music

Lately been able to connect with the Lord through music more than ever before. Especially these two songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jYLTn4fKYQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mohyR5xowFw

A Move Out of Isolation

So raising support has been going really well, but it's also extremely isolating. It has been challenging to be at home and be making phone calls, sending emails, etc. all alone. Though I have been so encouraged through appointments and conversations with people, at the end of the day, I'm feeling pretty isolated.

Still asking the Lord how this can be a time of dependence upon Him as I'm taking these steps of faith, and as I'm falling into times of being alone. Will it be like this the whole summer? Can I move out of this isolation?

I remind myself 100 times a day that God is fully present with me. So, right now, as I sit in my apartment by myself, God is with me. As I send that email, call that possible ministry partner, walk down the street just to leave my apartment... God is with me.

I don't have to feel alone. I have a God who is with me, who is listening to me, who is talking to me. And this isn't just like having another friend around... this is GOD. You know, our Creator, our Savior, our Lord... he is also our friend.

Please be praying for me as I raise my support--that I would believe that God is fully with me and that I am His. Please be praying that I pursue community but also work "with all my heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" (Colossians 3:23).