Summer Pt. 2

There are still so few people in Berkeley! It's actually really weird. Andrea's gone for the day, and Jenna went home this weekend, so I'm all alone in their apartment. It's super quiet and lonely. However, I went on a nice swim this morning, and I went to a coffee shop to have a quiet time for a couple of hours, and skyped with Michelle. So my boring day is not so boring! I am tired though. Tired from not getting to sleep in all week (including today.. but that was ok!), tired from support raising/calling lots of people, and tired from not having a set-in-stone schedule for anything, with the exception of work.

But, all in all, I'm just so glad that I'm here this summer. Though quiet, I have gotten the opportunity to spend such sweet time with Andrea. I wonder if she'll ever read this... or if she ever reads my blog... Anyways, I will go so far to say that it was God's divine plan for us to be together this summer, specifically these two weeks when everyone else is gone. Had our other friends been here, we wouldn't have been hanging out so much. But since they're not, we have gotten to spend so much time together! Favorite part... she's a great listener! (She even listens to my hour-long rants!) And God is creating her into such a beautiful godly woman. She is really encouraging (despite her mean exterior at times), and she has shown herself to be a great friend. How can I really complain about my summer at this point? God has cultivated a great friendship between us!

Anyways, and something I'm learning. I'm learning about having my palms open wide to God. By this, I mean that I often (still now) hold my palms closed very tightly. I hold onto all of the things that I want in life (my comfortable lifestyle, my relationships, my time, my time with God, etc.), and I try to keep it to myself. Recently, however, I've found that I'm not in as much control as I thought I was. Because my grip has been so tight, God has been having to pry open my hands from time to time to take things away from me. It's been hurting because I'm holding so tightly onto it. However, God is good and He has the best in mind for me. He wants control... and I need to learn to give it. I know that He has jewels that He wants to give me, if I just open my hands and graciously accept them, with full knowledge that they're not mine, but fully His. So, keeping my palms wide open still.

I want to open my palms up to the Lord. I want to let Him give, and let Him take away. I want to surrender it all. I want to show Him that, without Him, I'm only holding on to empty things. But He provides riches that cannot compare to what I hold.